Source: Viktor Klemperer, Ich will Zeugnis ablegen bis zum Letzten (Berlin 1996). [Viktor Klemperer, born in 1881, was a Jewish professor for literature at Dresden University. His diaries, published in 1996 in Germany, describe his life in Dresden during the Nazi years. Married to a non-Jew, he was protected from deportation, and spent the war with other mixed families in one of the Jewish houses'. He died in Dresden in 1960.]
28 June 1937 Monday morning, June 21, we were making the final preparations for our trip to the North Sea. At 8:00 the city gardener appears to check if our garden is clean. I show him that everything is in order. He points to some spot on the ground: there are weeds here, and here, and here. I have to report it. They will have to send workers to do the job.' and so on. I: What do you actually want me to do? ΓÇô The garden will have to be treated by professional gardeners at the cost of a couple of hundred Marks'. - I: Where would I get the money from? I was thrown out of my job.' - He, a simple, kind person, who now realises what it is all about: Oh, so you are non-Aryan?' He now understood the circumstances and the inevitable harassment. He is sorry, but if his report does not say that there are still weeds in the garden, there will be a supervision of a higher authority, and he will lose his job.
27 October 1937 The thought that it makes no difference how I am going to spend the rest of my life is constantly on my mind: I no longer believe there will be any political change. Furthermore, I don't believe a change will help me in any way in my circumstances or in my feelings. - Feelings of scorn, disgust and deep distrust towards Germany will never leave me. And until 1933 I was so convinced of my being German.
28 December 1937 I was very anxious these days because our situation is very bad. The worries about money are very heavy. We have to count every penny. We can no longer afford life insurance. And the hope for political change is hardly a hope any longer. The emigration of Gerstle-Salzburg was a terrible shock for us. The 'Weber Coffee flavours' factory was sold to Kathreiner. Gerstle had inherited it from his father and managed if for 28 years. He participated in the war as an officer. When they dissolved their home, they gave us many flowers (as did Blumnfeld and Isakowitz). We also got an enormous plant. I could have had hundreds of books. I took only a few. I have so many of them lying around gathering dust in boxes or on shelves. With no help in housekeeping there is no way to dust them. A beautiful old dog, which Gerstler had taken over from other emigrants, is being put to death. Gerstler will probably stay rich even after all the losses of giving up the house, paying the flight tax, etc.... Solitude becomes more and more burdensome....
20 March 1938 The last weeks have been the most hopeless ones of our lives. The terrible violence of the annexation of Austria, the incredible growth of internal and external power, the defenceless, fearful trembling of England, France, etc. We will not live to see the end of the Third Reich. For eight days now the flags have been waving in the wind. Since yesterday there are large, yellow signs with the star of David: 'Jew' all along our fence. A warning against our pariah's hut that has no flags. The Stuermer; has dug out its regular ritual murder. I would not be surprised if one of these days I were to find the corpse of a child in my garden....
12 July 1938 Again, terribly strong anti-Semitism. I have written to the Blumenfelds about the declaration of assets for Jews. In addition, the prohibition of individual enterprises, yellow cards in health resorts. The ideology is being expressed more scientifically. The Academic Society for the Study of Judaism is having a conference in Munich. A professor (a German university professor) is outlining the eternal traits of Judaism: cruelty, hatred, passion, a talent for adaptation - really sick; another can see the ancient Asiatic hatred glittering in the eyes of Harden and Rathenau'. Somewhere else there is a conference of psychologists, and Jaentsch is thundering about the materialistic psychology of the Jews, especially of Freud, and brings forth the spirituality of the new theories. Needless to say, Hitler and company gave their usual speeches at the opening of the German Art Exhibition in Munich.
10 August 1938 Mrs. Lehmann announced that she wanted to come on July 15, to congratulate Eva for her birthday. She arrived late in the evening, totally exhausted. She wanted to wait for total darkness and slip into our house unseen. There was always someone in the street and she was afraid to be seen. She did not realise how depressing this was for us. Her fears are certainly those of all the Volksgenossen [members of the Volk]. ... Terrible humid heat for the last three weeks. Money trouble that seems to have no end in recent weeks, making everything harder. Recent weeks have brought yet another wave of incitement against Jews and new acts of violence. As of October 1, Jewish physicians will lose their license they are not even permitted to work as 'healers'. They can just as well starve. At the same time, an identity card for Jews is to be introduced. With such a card, one probably will not be admitted to any hotel. This means to become a prisoner....
27 November 1938 ... A day after my arrest, on November 12. [Klemperer was arrested after the Crystal Night pogrom and released two days later] I wrote SOS letters to Mrs. Schaps and Georg. The short letter to Georg started with: With a heavy heart, from a totally changed situation, pushed to the very edge, without details: can you vouch for me and my wife, can you help the two of us for a few months over there?' I could probably manage to get a position as a teacher or an office job....
